


the body remembers (what the mind forgets)

by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Brief mention of inter crural shower sex, Canon Compliant, First Time, Hand Job, Light Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, POV Alternating, Pre-Canon, Pre-Canon Relationship, Selective/temporary amnesia, points at the amnesia tag like naturally there'll be (light) angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 14:47:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7443223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/ShirosRedKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiro’s fingers slide up to touch his skin, warm points of contact that make Keith shiver. “It’s just a year," Shiro reassures him quietly, "I’ll be back before you know it. It’ll be like the time you were studying to come here.”</p><p>His lips twitch up, trying to be supportive but it’s hard. Keith knows its the right thing to do, to be happy for Shiro. But it's hard when he's imagining a space without Shiro in it. Loneliness is already creeping up his torso, curling around his heart and lungs and choking the happy pride he feels for Shiro. </p><p>He already misses Shiro <i>so</i> terribly.<br/>--<br/>tldr: Keith and Shiro were together pre-canon but then Shiro went on his mission and came back with no memories of his time with Keith. How does one even begin to deal with the love of your life forgetting you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the body remembers (what the mind forgets)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this truly BEAUTIFUL piece by sakee](https://twitter.com/sakeetla/status/751299099593281536). Major thanks to @soldieress/Jini who indulged me in a quick sheith idea spiral inspired by this art piece (just look at that second panel and how pensive and sad keith looks ahahah please end me). Also shout out to @amorala for helping me on the korean! 
> 
> I did a spot of research on cadet ranks and such in the air force and if I got something wrong pls DO tell me!
> 
> I originally wrote and posted this on tumblr and it was 5.5k but then Jini jokingly dared me to make it 10k. SO I DID.  
> Update: IT WASNT A JOKE JINI SERIOUSLY CHALLENGED ME I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE BUT IT WASNT BUT I STILL ACCEPTED IT SO WE ALL GOOD EITHERWAYS 
> 
> I firmly headcanon Shiro being Japanese and Keith as Korean.

Even though he’s known about it since last week, Keith follows everyone else’s example and looks at Shiro to check his reaction to the announcement that he’ll be the pilot for the Kerberos mission.   
  


The older teen stands ramrod straight, a tiny smile on his lips. There’s not a trace of the excitement he’d shown Keith when the older teen had first told him about the mission. He’s a picture perfect cadet officer in this moment.   
  


Shiro looks nothing but steadfastly determined to complete the mission assigned to him. Not to mention proud of the honor awarded to him. And why wouldn’t he be, Keith thinks to himself? Of course he’d be proud that he’s been selected for this mission. Any one of them would be.   
  


But as soon as the senior officers leave the cafeteria, everyone, Shiro included, relaxes. Many of their fellow cadets come up to offer Shiro their congratulations. A couple of them straight up gush over him, which makes Shiro laugh bashfully. A few more sigh longingly and enviously. Keith even catches a handful of jealous looks being thrown their way.  
  


It’s all to be expected. It’s not every day this kind of opportunity presents itself. Being a Cadet Chief Master Sergeant means that sometimes you get offered chances like these. And Shiro’s been offered, and accepted, such opportunities before.  
  


He’s the best pilot in his class. Possibly in _all_  the classes right now. It’s a no brainer in Keith's eyes that Shiro’s been selected from all the available cadets to be the pilot. In fact, he’s pretty damn proud of Shiro.  
  


And yet there’s no avoiding the morose feeling creeping over his limbs. Keith glances up at Shiro, taking in his handsome profile. He’s grinning toothily at one of his classmates, strength and friendliness personified. A picture perfect representation of what Galaxy Garrison has to offer.  
  


Keith misses him already.  
  


Which is foolish, Keith quietly tells himself. It’s certainly not the first time they’ll have spent time apart. It will hardly be the longest either. It’s not even the first off planet mission Shiro’s had.   
  


But the heart doesn’t work rationally or logically. It doesn't accept the fact that they've been here before and aches deeply, imagining how difficult the coming few months will be. Because it _will_  be months.   
  


‘ _I wonder how long the mission will be...’_  Keith thinks to himself, gaze lowering pensively.  
  


Kerberos is at the very edge of their solar system. It takes around 4 months to get to the cold planet in the first place. Assuming they stay there for another month at the very least, and add in the return journey, it’ll be a 9 month journey all together.   
  


Almost a whole year without Shiro.   
  


Keith can’t stop his lower lip from jutting out into a pout. The last time he’d gone that long without meeting Shiro was when he’d joined Galaxy Garrison and Keith was stuck back home, studying his ass off to pass the academy’s exams and join Shiro. That had been the longest they've been apart - an entire year and some months.  
  


But even then they’d remained in contact through video and phone calls.   
  


He wonders how long it would take a video message to be relayed from Kerberos to Earth. Would it even be possible given the distance and all present in between the two points?   
  


A warm hand comes to rest at the base of his neck, making Keith twitch and look up in surprise. His startled gaze meets Shiro’s gentle eyes, “You okay?”  
  


Dark blue eyes tick away to see where the rest of the group has gone before turning back to Shiro. Not trusting his voice, Keith nods.   
  


It’s not a complete lie. He’ll be okay with his eventually.   
  


Shiro’s fingers slide up to touch his skin, warm points of contact that make Keith shiver. “It’s just a year," Shiro reassures him quietly, "I’ll be back before you know it. It’ll be like the time you were studying to come here.”  
  


His lips twitch up, trying to be supportive but it’s hard. Keith knows its the right thing to do, to be happy for Shiro. But it's hard when he's imagining a space without Shiro in it. Loneliness is already creeping up his torso, curling around his heart and lungs and choking the happy pride he feels for Shiro.   
  


He already misses Shiro _so_ terribly.  
  


There’s a flash of the same sentiment in Shiro’s dark eyes and it makes some of the loneliness dissipate. And what’s left of the dark feeling temporarily fades away when Shiro ducks his head down to press a quick kiss to his lips.  
  


“Demerit!” Someone hollers playfully from across the room, “PDA’s count as 5 demerit points!”  
  


Keith smiles as Shiro immediately yells back, “Doesn’t count if its in the cafeteria or common room, Angelo.”   
  


As he watches Shiro tease his friend, his smile softens.  _'Yeah_...' Keith thinks, ' _a year isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things. We'll manage.'_  
  


\--  
  


Shiro knows he should have better control than this but he can’t help it. He knows Keith thinks that Shiro’s spoiling him before he leaves but honestly?   
  


It’s more for himself.  
  


Or maybe Keith _does_  know because he sometimes gives Shiro this _look_  like he knows why Shiro’s not putting up the usual resistance. A look that comes up again underneath the delight when Shiro's the one tugging Keith into an abandoned hallway or corner. A look that comes up when Shiro steps back and lets Keith his room (one of the few perks of being a cadet officer - he doesn't have to share his room). Regardless, he’s glad that Keith doesn’t bring it up and always melts against Shiro’s body with a kiss.   
  


A whole year without Keith by his side. A whole year where he won’t see the cadet at least twice a day or see his angry scowl turn into a pleasantly surprised smile. A whole year without the ability to touch and kiss Keith as he pleases. He can't even begin to fathom it.  
  


It was easier last time. When he'd joined the Garrison. Back then Keith was simply someone important to him. Friend, kin, partner-in-crime. It had hurt to be away from the person who had been by his side for years; his constant companion since they were kids. Since then, Keith's importance has only grown and he's become someone irreplaceable in Shiro's life.   
  


He knows he's going to miss waking up to the sensation of Keith slipping out of his arms, pressing an apologetic kiss to his forehead. Shiro's going to miss the snort-laugh Keith lets out whenever he makes a dumb pun. He's going to miss the way Keith will steal food off his tray and get extra dessert just so that Shiro can enjoy two helping of pudding instead of one. Shiro's going to miss the way Keith will pull his legs into his own lap and quiz Shiro on whatever he's studying.  
  


So many small and seemingly insignificant signs of affection that Shiro's been taking for granted. Shiro's going to miss the hell out of his boyfriend.   
  


The thought makes him groan against Keith’s neck, arms tightening around the other teens smaller frame. The irrational desire to stay here in this storage unit and forget about the world swells. Like dark waves shifting restlessly at the horizon, threatening a tsunami. Calm and capable leader he may be, but he’s also oh so very human. And the thought of spending so much time away from Keith and his comforting presence makes him feel so...  
  


“Takashi?” Keith’s quiet voice cuts his thoughts off.  
  


With a blink, Shiro peers up at Keith, who is gazing back with a concerned frown. The younger teens' hair is a mess. Cheeks flush with color. A question gleams in his eyes as he raises a hand to cup Shiro’s cheek. The move makes Keith’s jacket slip back up his shoulder, covering two of the hickey’s Shiro’s left on the other teen’s collarbone and shoulder. Shiro eyes them and thinks about leaving more marks on Keith's skin.   
  


Instead of doing that however, Shiro answers Keith's wordless question with a quick kiss to Keith’s palm. His hands slide down from their place on Keith’s hips and under the other teen’s thighs. Shiro loves this position so much; Keith's back is against the wall, legs open to accommodate Shiro's bulk. He loves being in between Keith’s thighs and loves how he can use these heated make-out sessions to imagine how Keith will feel when they finally go all the way.  
  


The only position he likes more than this is when Keith’s in his lap.  
  


Speaking of which...  
  


Shiro pulls them down on the floor, turning so that his back now rests against the wall and Keith’s a comfortable, heavy weight in his lap. Keith moves liquid smooth during the shift and smirks at him, hands resting on Shiro’s shoulders, knowing full well how much Shiro likes this position. Shiro grins back, unrepentant and happy. It gives him easier access to Keith’s neck sure, and he's told Keith as much. But honestly? The real reason why he loves it so much? It's the proximity between their bodies. Shiro gets to feel every twitch and tremble of Keith’s body against his chest.  
  


It’s the most wonderful form of torture Shiro’s put himself through.  
  


Keith’s hands slide down his torso, pushing his jacket apart further before playing with the hem of his undershirt. There’s a meaningful look in his eyes that Shiro recognizes. The one that says ‘We could do more than kissing’. But Shiro takes hold of Keith’s fingers and kisses the knuckles with no small amount of regret.   
  


“When I come back, I promise we’ll go all the way,” Shiro murmurs, pressing their foreheads together.  
  


He can feel Keith’s brown furrowing, “Why wait?”  
  


With a sigh, Shiro answers with something he’s meant to say since he first told Keith he was going to accept the mission, “Because I don’t want you waiting for me.”  
  


Keith immediately darts back, a rush of cool air pressing down on Shiro’s chest, “ _What_?”  
  


His hands tug on Keith’s hips, asking him to stay put even as he says, “I’ll be gone for a whole year and that’s the best guess. It’s possible it could take longer. If during that time you find someone else I don’t you t-”  
  


The rest of his words are cut off thanks to the fierce kiss Keith plants on him. His surprised noise is caught by Keith’s tongue and swallowed down. Shiro’s hands tightened on slim hips and stay that way even when Keith pulls away.  
  


“I’ll wait for you,” Keith says fiercely, “You could be gone for two years and I’ll still wait for you.”  
  


It’s incredibly stupid but Shiro feels the prickle of tears in the corner of his eyes. Instead he gives in to the urge to laugh and hug Keith close. “I’m still giving you that option.”  
  


“And I’m rejecting it.”  
  


Shiro buries his face in Keith’s shoulder and smiles so hard at the firm reply that he’s surprised his cheeks don’t crack. He holds Keith against him and memorizes everything about this moment - the way Keith’s exhales tickle past his ear, the tightness of his grip, the feel of his thighs against Shiro’s.   
  


“No sex then?” Keith asks after a pause.  
  


With a laugh, Shiro answers, “Nope.”  
  


There's another pause after which Keith asks, more questioning than before, “We’re still going to do this though, right?”  
  


Given that he’s got 11 days till the mission, Shiro’s more than eager to get as much time alone as he can with Keith so he nods. Too quickly and too eagerly apparently because Keith snorts.   
  


“Can’t believe Takashi Shirogane’s encouraging all this rule breaking.” Keith's hands run up and down Shiro's back, tracing the sharp edges of his shoulder blades before sliding down his spine.   
  


Shiro presses a kiss to the patch of skin underneath Keith’s ear because he knows it'll make the other teen shiver, “Extenuating circumstances.”  
  


“That’s not what you said the last time I wanted to ditch class,” Keith’s voice is breathless but tinged pink with amusement. His hips shift down as his body moves closer against him. God why is Shiro being such a noble idiot anyways? “What would everyone else say if they knew you were a rule breaker.”  
  


He feels a touch guilty at that if he’s honest. Shiro’s the senior officer here. He shouldn’t be encouraging this kind of behavior. Shiro should be doing more than putting up a token resistance before allowing Keith to pull him into a dark, abandoned corner for a quick kiss or more.   
  


Shiro briefly wonders if its a good or a bad thing that he feels so strongly for Keith. But forgets about it when Keith says, “By the time you’ll be back, I’ll have our old shack fixed into a proper home. That'll give you something to look forward too.”  
  


It’s a better, safer, option to think about the old shack they’d found in the middle of the desert instead of the scary depth of his feelings. So Shiro leans back and asks, “What’ve you got in mind?”  
  


Keith's eyes sparkle, settling down more comfortably on Shiro's thighs before he starts sharing all the plans he's got for the abandoned building they'd found.   
  


\--  
  


Keith stares at the shack in front of him, with the creaky door he’s just fixed and the railing he’s going to fix today, and wonders what’s the point.  
  


What’s the point in continuing to fix this place up when Shiro isn’t coming home?  _Won't_ be coming home?  _Ever_?  
  


Can it even count as a home when half of its occupants isn’t there?  
  


With a white-knuckled grip, Keith holds onto the hammer and tries to hold back to the desire to slam the metal into the floor. He wants to break the structure apart with his bare hands. Destroy it piece by fucking piece until it’s nothing but splinters, mimicking the state of his heart.  
  


The feeling that he’s breaking apart from the inside out returns. If Keith could compare it, he’d compare it with the pulsing of a collapsing star. Every flare is one heart beat closer to death. Towards falling into itself and turning into a black hole.  
  


Keith scrubs a hand down his face, body starting to shake as he remembers the booming voice telling him he’s expelled from the academy. The same flare of anger he’d felt with that shitty cadet had said the mission failure was probably Shiro’s fault rises again.   
  


Thump, thump, the pulse goes.  
  


It peaks remembering the look on his superior officers faces when Keith had tried explaining his side, how he'd thrown the first punch because the other cadet had been bad mouthing Shiro - bored and dismissive because they agreed with the cadet.  
  


Thump thump; he’s so close to imploding.  
  


Keith throws the hammer as hard as he can at the floor, feeling only a tiny bit better when he sees it crack through a floor board. But its immediately smothered with regret. He falls heavily to his knees with a soft curse, pushing the broken plank aside to grab the hammer.  
  


He hisses as a sharp corner of wood scrapes against his wrist on the way up. Blood sluggishly seeps out of the wound, gathering before dripping down the side. It hangs for a moment, pregnant and heavy. Keith waits for it to fall.  
  


Waits.  
  


Waits.  
  


Feels like that’s all he’s been doing his whole life.  
  


Waiting for his parents to come home. Waiting for them to wake up as he yells at them. Waiting for Shiro to come home after his first sleepover at a friends. Waiting for the academy results to come home. Waiting for Shiro to return from his missions.   
  


Waiting....  
  


Always waiting.  
  


The blood coagulates into a dark drop on the outside of his wrist.   
  


\--  
  


A long, long time ago, Shiro remembers as he lies on the cold floor of the alien ship and stares at the wall in front of him, Keith told him, “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”  
  


Of course at the time they were kids and Keith had been upset that Shiro had had a sleepover at a friends house. He's said those words with all the impetuous childishness of an unhappy 6 year old who had spent the night without his favorite person by his side. But the words had stuck with him. Mostly because Shiro thought the sudden loss of his parents made Keith hold on tighter to people around him all the tighter. It's why he'd made the effort to include Keith in whatever he did after that point.   
  


It bears mentioning at this point that Keith doesn't consider them family. Shiro and his parents? They're just people Keith's living with. Keith had made that pretty clear very early on. Shiro heard his parents laughingly refer to Keith as “rambunctious” from that night on. He wasn’t sure what that meant at the time. He totally does now. But Keith is more than rambunctious. He is determined, independent, and holds his few personal connections close to his heart (even if he doesn't show that).   
  


And there's no connection Keith considers more precious than his bond with Shiro (a hushed confession shared with Shiro during the early days of their dating).  
  


His heart aches at the memory of the shy voice in which Keith had confessed his feelings. And how Keith had used that same tone to whisper to him on his last night on Earth. Shiro remembers how comfortable and at ease he’d felt lying in his bed with Keith. The room had been comfortably dark, dark blue shadows with golden edges made from the light coming from his beside table lamp.  
  


Shiro remembers the way Keith had gripped his hand tight, holding a loose fist against his chest. He remembers the way his lips had tingled in the aftermath of a truly amazing make out session. The way Keith’s hands had felt against his back. The comfortable slotting of their legs. The cool slide of Keith's fingers through his hair that were lulling him to sleep.  
  


But the thing he remembers most strongly? Is how, when he was this close to dozing off, Keith’s voice had whispered, “ いかないで.”  
  


Shiro had ignored the softly spoken words, fuzzily wondering if he'd just imagined Keith saying something. He continued to straddle the find line between consciousness and sleep as Keith had sighed and muttered, “Forget it.”  
  


But he hadn’t.   
  


There was no way Shiro could forget Keith asking him not to leave. There’s already so much that he’s forgotten but the one thing Shiro is confident he won’t ever forget? It’s Keith.  
  


Shiro clenches his right fist, ignoring the ache pulsing between his new arm and human flesh. He’ll sooner forget his own name than forget his time with Keith.  
  


\--  
  


‘ _He doesn’t remember us_ ,’ Keith thinks. The realization is like having a bucket of ice cold water dropped on his head, bucket and all.  
  


“I remember a lot of things but most of my memories are a blur,” Shiro is explaining to Lance.   
  


“Do you remember your time at the academy?” Pidge asks curiously from the other side. “Do you remember any of us? Or Keith?”  
  


Shiro turns to look at him and Keith can’t help but hold his breath, feeling hope swell in him because maybe he’s read the signs wrong. Maybe Shiro does remember. Maybe he just-  
  


“We grew up together didn’t we?”  
  


Keith waits a long moment, holding Shiro's gaze, before asking roughly, “Is that all you remember?”  
  


He can feel the weight of everyone’s gaze on him but remains focused on Shiro. Who is frowning faintly. “You were a year under me at the academy. That’s all I remember.”  
  


His ears fill with white noise and static. Keith wants to bolt. Run to a distant corner of the castle and scream his frustration out. The only things that stop him from doing so is the pitying look hes getting from Lance and his own pride.  
  


With a stiff nod, Keith answers, “Okay.”   
  


Pidge asks a question, something about the rest of the crew, and Keith debates leaving. Didn’t the Princess say something about a training room? Beating something up is definitely going to help him feel better.  
  


Why does he continue to be the butt of the universes' shitty jokes? First he lost his parents, and now he's lost Shiro. Only it's worse with Shiro because he'd  _hoped_ for the short time in between finding Shiro and when Shiro had woken up. Keith had  _stupidly, stupidly, stupidly_ thought that, against all odds, he'd gotten Shiro back.   
  


But no.  
  


Shiro doesn't remember. He doesn't have any memory of all their time together.   
  


Keith's feet are moving him of the room before he realizes it. He's not sure where he's going but he can't be  _here_. He’s almost out the door when a hand on his elbow stops him. Keith turns back with a glare, feeling a spike of anger at the look Lance is giving him.  
  


“You should tell him.”  
  


With a glare, Keith asks, “About what?”  
  


“You know what.” Lance locks him in place with a meaningful look. Ah. So he knows about... Keith wonders if the others do as well.   
  


Keith hesitates. Looks past Lance at where Hunk and Shiro are engaged in some kind of discussion. He hears the echo of a memory whisper in the back of his head. _"I don't want you waiting for me."_  Looks back at Lance and shakes his head.  
  


“Why the hell not?” Lance snaps back, “He deserves to know!”  
  


Keith pulls his arm free, “Just because we _were_ together doesn’t mean we’re _still_  a couple. It’s been over a year.”  
  


He walks out the room, letting Lance put two and two together. For his part? Keith tries not to let his resentment swallow him whole.  
  


\--  
  


Shiro knows he’s going to have to deal with what he went through eventually. Of all the things he's managed to retain, Shiro remembers bits and pieces of some of the psych classes he'd sat through at the academy. He's grateful for it in the end because Shiro knows what to expect. When the nightmares start? He’s ready for them. As much as he can be anyways.  
  


After the first couple of nightmares, he’s got no trouble going to Coran asking if he’s got something that could help him sleep better at night. The tonic he gets in turn is the most startling shade of blue and makes him feel groggy throughout the day, so Shiro avoids taking it after that. Feeling nauseated all day and being subject to concerned looks from  _every one_ is too much for him to take.  
  


Instead, he resigns himself to long nights of poor sleep and harsh memories he'd rather forget instead of relive.  
  


Most of his nightmares center around his time in the gladiator ring. Shiro wakes up with his sheets soaked through with sweat and his heart racing, eyes darting around the room in search of an opponent who isn’t there. Those nightmares he can deal with. All he has to do is roll out of bed and start doing push ups to tire his body. The faster he wears himself out, the faster he can to go back to sleep.   
  


The worst memories are of the time he lost his arm and had it replaced. Shiro's blocked most of those memories and fails to remember them even after waking up. But there's no ignoring the agonizing pain in his arm or the terrifying hollowness that claws at his chest when he wakes up afterwards. He stares at his room, shivering at how the pale aqua night light gives the room an eerie glow. It's a stark reminder of where he is. It reminds him a little of  the place he'd been kept after the surgery.  
  


There are a few nights here and there, where he has more peaceful dreams. Shiro's favorite dream is one where he sits in a classroom next to an open window. A faint breeze washes over him, much like how the teachers droning lecture sweeps over him. Pencils scratch against paper. Someone sneezes daintily. A bat connects with a ball on the outside, followed by a muffled cheer. It's so very peaceful. Shiro wishes he could live in that halcyon day forever.  
  


And then sometimes his brain foregoes these options and makes him dream of Keith. In excruciating and vivid detail, Shiro dreams of the feeling of Keith's legs around his hips, his hands on his shoulders, his lips pressing against his own. He dreams of pale, hot skin underneath his rough hands and the sweet noises Keith makes with every touch.  
  


Shiro always wakes up feeling guilty and hot under the collar after those dreams. (Not to mention a raging hard-on that he's got to deal with in the en-suite bathroom). Afterwards, he sternly chides himself because he can’t think of his team mate like that! No matter how good looking he is or how dedicated he is to Shiro. It’s thoroughly disrespectful to have dirty dreams about Keith.  
  


(‘ _Why_?’ a quiet voice asks from the back of his head.)  
  


Sometimes Shiro wonders why only Keith seems to star in those dreams but he quickly stops that train of thought before it leaves the station. He’s scared of that answer if he’s honest. And if he’s even more honest? Shiro thinks he already knows the answer.  
  


He’s just avoiding it for all he’s worth.   
  


(‘ _Why are you avoiding this?’_ )  
  


What’s more puzzling however, is how _vivid_  some of his dreams can be.  
  


Especially the ones where they’re making out in what looks like to be a janitors closet. Or the one particular dream where Keith is pouting at the floor and Shiro kisses the sad expression away. Or the time where Keith pushes him back against a wall with a determined expression and kisses him.  
  


Are they dreams or memories?   
  


The reason why he asks is because... See. Shiro would assume they're dreams. Fanciful notions his subconscious is cooking up because he finds Keith attractive. But then only two weeks ago, Keith had peeled his shirt off on Allura's insistence, letting her see how bad the knife wound he'd gotten was. And shown off a cluster of moles on his shoulder blade that had made Shiro freeze. He'd seen that specific constellation of beauty marks  _many_ times in his dreams.   
  


And then there was the small scar on Keith's elbow Shiro knew he'd gotten while falling off a tree in their backyard. And the cloud shaped birthmark that peeked out from under Keith's pants. Getting  _one_ thing right in his dreams could have been something Shiro could write off as a coincidence. But to be  _that_ correct about Keith's body? Despite the fact that they grew up together, Shiro can't help but think that....  
  


(’ _You already know the answer to your question.’_ )  
  


“There a problem?” Hunk asks suddenly him one day at lunch, concern etched over his face.  
  


Shiro blinks, fork clinking against his plate. “What?”  
  


Hunk points over at Keith, who is sitting on the other end of the table arguing with Lance about something while Pidge shakes her head, “You and Keith. You’ve been staring at him for a while now. You’ve kinda been doing that for days.”  
  


With an embarrassed twitch, Shiro turns his gaze down at his plate, “It’s nothing. I was just wondering something.”  
  


“Ahan...” Hunk drawls in a way that says he doesn’t believe Shiro but isn’t going to call him out either. "Anything important?"  
  


Answering with a quick shake of the head, Shiro shovels the rest of his meal into his plate and quietly expresses his gratitude towards Hunk for not pushing the matter.   
  


How long had he been staring at Keith? Shiro wonders with rising embarrassment. Had Keith noticed? Had anyone else noticed? Had he really been staring at Keith for that long? What else has he been doing subconsciously?  
  


(’ _Always. Yes. Yes. Yes. So much.’_ )  
  


Why does his body move without his permission when it comes to Keith anyways? Where does the desire to touch Keith stem from? Why does being around Keith make him feel so relaxed and at ease?  
  


(’ _You know why. You know why. You know why.’)_  
  


And why does Lance keep looking at him like he’s waiting for Shiro to do something? It's not even the first time he's caught Lance looking at him like he wants to tell Shiro something but is holding himself back. But he's been on the receiving end of that look more and more often. And not  _just_ from Lance. But from Pidge and Hunk as well. Shiro wonders what's the cause behind those looks.  
  


(’ _You know why.’)_  
  


Murmuring thanks for the meal under his breath, Shiro plants one hand on the table and grabs his plate with the other. They've got the rest of the day to themselves. Maybe he'll poke around the castle storage and see what kind of data's stored there. Maybe there's some music he can listen too...  
  


Shiro out the door and walking towards the main control room when he hears footsteps coming up behind him.  
  


“Um Shiro?” Pidge’s voice calls out to him, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”  
  


Turning around, Shiro sees Pidge running up to him with something in her hands, “Sure, what’s up?”  
  


(’ _Are you ready to know?’_ )  
  


\--  
  


Muscle memory is a funny thing.   
  


Keith’s thought so since he was very young and saw his dad grab at his empty pocket in search of the glasses he always kept there. The sight of his dad repeatedly trying to grab his glasses that weren't there had made him giggle with delight for a week.  
  


“ _Umma_ , why does _appa_ keep doing that?” Keith remembers asking his mother, standing on his stool next to her as he helped her dry the dishes.  
  


He recalls her sharp giggles and the sweep of her wet fingers over his head, “His body remembers what his mind forgets.”  
  


The same applies to Shiro, Keith thinks. He may have forgotten that he and Keith used to be together but his body seems to remember it all too well. Or maybe its his subconscious guiding his actions? Which would prove that Shiro _does_  remember them somewhere in the back of his mind? Or maybe it's just his body reacting faster than his brain can process?  
  


Keith sighs tiredly, kicks his boots off before peeling the gloves off. He’s so tired of this particular train of thought. He's tired of coming back to it after hours of painful wondering and dissecting of the smallest action Shiro takes. Keith is beyond tired of reading too much and not enough into the shoulder touches, the lingering gazes, the questioning stares that Shiro directs his way.   
  


And it's not the mental hoops Keith makes himself jump through that's the tiring part. The thing that wears him out the most is how every look and gesture? Is reminiscent of their time together. Back when he'd been a fresh cadet at the Academy and confessed to Shiro, Keith had gotten those same searching gazes he was receiving now. Keith sometimes has to actually pinch himself to make sure he’s not back at the academy again, waiting for Shiro to process his confession and give him a reply.   
  


With a tired sigh, Keith drops his hand down on his forearm. He slides his palm down near his wrist, trying to recreate Shiro’s grip as the older teen had yanked him out of harms way earlier today. His hand is a poor substitute but Keith can easily imagine Shiro’s grip on his skin. It's not that hard. Shiro's grabbed his wrist in that spot countless times in the past. If he closes his eyes, Keith can imagine one of the many times Shiro lead him off to his room before he pushing Keith back against the door and kissing him breathless.  
  


Shaking his head, Keith comes back to the present. ‘ _Maybe I should ask Shiro to not -’_  
  


He can’t even bring himself to finish that thought. He can't ask Shiro to stop. Keith is desperate and hungry for even the smallest touches Shiro gives him. How much of a masochist does it make Keith if he's ready to bear with the pain of almost but not what he wants?   
  


Dropping back in his bed, Keith sighs and quietly wonders, “Maybe Lance was right.” And that's a bitter pill to swallow.  
  


Maybe he ought to tell Shiro the truth. Better late than never right? Maybe telling Shiro will help jog his memories and then... But telling him the truth of their past might not make a difference at all. Amnesia is an unpredictable ailment and there's no real guarantee that someone will gain all their memories back in the first place. And even if Keith takes the lost memories part out fo consideration, who was to say that Shiro is still interested in being with him?   
  


"I hate this,” Keith sighs tiredly at no one, feeling a familiar headache start to grow behind his eyes.   
  


He’s beyond tired of holding his feelings back. Of pretending he doesn’t care for Shiro any more than a team mate. Of pretending they don’t have a past. Of pulling back when all he wants to do is lean in and kiss Shiro. Of holding his hands by his side instead of reaching out to touch Shiro and reassure himself that he’s still here.   
  


He's so  _tired_ of running around in circles inside his mind. Why can't he find a concrete answer to this whole dumb scenario?   
  


Keith eyes his jacket hanging off its hook and debates getting up to snag the pictures he keeps tucked away in the inside pocket. It’s one of the few things he’d brought with him and only because he keeps those pictures on him at all times.  
  


It's one of his more favorite memories. A friend had let him borrow his polaroid camera and Keith had gone running to Shiro to show him the vintage camera. Shiro had examined it thoroughly before easily accepting Keith's idea of taking a few pictures. Shiro had told him to take at least three good pictures.  
  


_"Why three?"_  
  


" _One for you, one for me, and one we're gonna send back to my parents._ "  
  


" _Where're you gonna keep your picture?_ "  
  


" _In my locker. You?_ "  
  


" _In my jacket._ "  
  


Shiro had laughed. Keith hide a smile behind his palm, remembering the teasing way Shiro had called him a sentimental romantic. Tears sting the corner of his eyes. How is it possible to miss someone this much when they're alive and well and breathing just three doors down from you? Keith feels a touch ungrateful because Shiro is alive and well. Hadn't he begged and pleaded with whoever was listening in the middle of the night that he'd give anything up if it meant Shiro was still alive? Hasn't he gotten his wish? Shouldn't he stop-  
  


Someone raps on his door. Five sharp and short raps. Keith waits a beat, swipes a hand across his eyes before calling out, "Hang on."  
  


As he straightens up, the spot where he'd gotten kicked by a Galra soldier twinges. Keith winces and presses his palm over the spot. How ugly is this particular bruise going to look? He needs to increase his hand-to-hand training. Maybe he could talk Hunk into some one-on-one practice? Or Lance?   
  


_'Or Shiro...'  
  
_

Keith shakes his head, wondering why even his own brain can't cut him some slack. He'd like to go ten minutes in his down time without his thoughts turning towards Shiro. With a quiet woosh, the doors slide open and reveals the cause of his head ache (and heart ache) standing there with a pensive look on his face.  
  


Shiro's gaze darts up as the door opens, expression shifting between different emotions too fast for Keith to register. And he just stares at Keith long enough to make him want to fidget in place. It takes concentrated effort to hold himself in place and ask, "Something wrong?”  
  


“There’s... something I wanted to talk to you about. Can I come in?”  
  


Warning bells begin to ring in the back of his head because Shiro hesitating about something? That's never a good sign. That tends to mean it's something bad. Something he doesn't really want to talk about but has too. Shiro had hesitated multiple times before breaking the news to Keith that he was going to Garrison Garrison.  
  


But Keith nods as he takes a step back, watching Shiro carefully as he steps in. Keith observes the way Shiro’s eyes dart around his sparse room before landing on him. Again, a number of different emotions pass over his face before settling on determination. Keith crosses his arms and braces himself for whatever bad news Shiro is going to throw his way.  
  


Shiro opens his mouth and says, “We used to be a couple, didn’t we?”  
  


It’s like someone grabbed the world and turned it upside down. Keith gapes at Shiro for a moment because, “How did you- Did Lance tell you that?” Because if he did, Keith is honestly going to kill him. He's going to go out there right now and jettison Lance into space through one of the air locks.  
  


“Is that a yes?”   
  


Shiro takes a step closer and Keith wonders why his quarters are so damned small. He swallows, tightens his grip on his own arms and asks, “What brought this up anyways?”  
  


There’s a pause where Keith thinks Shiro’s not going to answer. It's a pause where he hears Shiro's dad tut at him for answering a question with a question. And then Shiro pulls an entirely too familiar looking pair of worn picture sout of his pocket.  
  


Keith stares at the ghost of them, body growing cold the longer he stares. The top picture shows a younger Shiro in his uniform kissing a surprised Keith’s cheek. It's Keith's picture. The one below it captures a tender kiss. Both their cheeks are flushed (because Keith had pushed Shiro down and kissed his laughter away because it's _not_ funny if he wants a cheek kiss picture Takashi!) and you can see Keith fighting down the urge to smile as well. The uptick of his lips almost hidden underneath Shiro's palm. There's nothing to say in the face of this proof.  
  


He feels his mouth open and close a few times before he manages to ask, “Where did you get that?”  
  


It’s barely a croak but it may as well be a gunshot in the silence between them.  
  


Shiro's voice is gentle in return. Like he's approaching a cornered animal instead of his ex. "Pidge found it outside the training room. She was walking by and saw something stuck by the wall and...she gave it to me.”  
  


Keith can barely hear the answer because he’s back in that moment, lost in the memories of a happier time. He can almost feel Shiro's hands on his hips, holding him down while Keith squirms and asks what kind of picture Shiro wants to take for his locker.  
  


“So... were we together?”  
  


The question crosses through the fog settling over him. It may be his imagination but Keith thinks he hears a tentative hope edging the question. It’s what gives him the strength to look up. And yes. There it is. Shiro looks so obviously hopeful that the truth tumbles out of Keith before he can stop it.  
  


His voice cracks and breaks two times too many and it makes Shiro take a step forward every time, until they’re standing toe to toe. Keith keeps gaze lowered, head and heart heavy with the weight he's been carrying for so long. And he lets it all flow out, messy and disjointed and too much. But Shiro just listens carefully and patiently until Keith’s done.  
  


And then sighs in relief.  
  


Keith feels the black hole in his chest collapse into itself and disappear when Shiro's arms wrap around him.  
  


\--  
  


Relief has never felt so sweet. Not even when he’d woken up after crashing the stolen Galra ship to find Garrison personnel staring down at him. Shiro can't pinpoint a single point in his  _life_ when he's felt so damned  _relieved_ than he does in this moment when Keith crumbles and whispers, "Yeah. We were."  
  


From the outside, Shiro knows it must look terrible at how he's smiling this big, goofy smile when Keith's explaining their past in the most miserable and broken voice. But he can't help it. He's just so happy to know the truth. So glad to know that they were all memories.    
  


“ _Yokatta,_ ” Shiro exhales against Keith's ear, shoulders drooping as he curls into the younger teens body.  
  


There’s a pause before Keith is hesitantly echoing, “You’re glad?”  
  


He stands stiffly within the circle of Shiro's arms. Nodding, Shiro pulls back and slides his hands down to reassuringly take hold of Keith’s wrists. This time knowing _why_  he’s reaching out to touch Keith _there._ It's because Keith's wrists are sensitive and soft touches make him shiver, be they from his lips or fingers. Sure enough, Keith's body trembles at the gentle grip.   
  


“I was so confused if I was just dreaming up stuff I wanted to do with you or if they were actually memories.”  
  


“Memor- You remember?” Keith asks, dark blue eyes widening.  
  


With a nod, Shiro presses his forehead against Keith’s and sighs, “Not all of it but... I remember a lot.”   
  


“Like what?”  
  


“When _aboji_ brought you home. The first time you kissed me. The time we were making out and I accidentally bit your lip too hard and made you bleed. When it was announced I was going to be part of the Kerberos mission. Our last night in my room. That time I broke _eomeoni_ ’s favorite vase and you said you’d done it.”  
  


There’s an up-twitch to Keith’s lips at the last one that encourages Shiro to smile as well, heart feeling light as a feather.  
  


“She was so mad about that,” Keith chuckles, hand coming up to rest gently against his ribs. “Your _aboji_  got us ice cream afterwards because-”  
  


“He said he always hated that vase and could never find a reason to throw it away.” Shiro finishes with a laugh.   
  


As he looks down at Keith’s grinning face, Shiro doesn’t understand why he was so scared to question the motives behind his actions. Honestly, what had he been he so worried about? Looking down at Keith’s bashful gaze, Shiro wants to kick himself for waiting so long. For not talking to Keith sooner to get to the truth. For not following his instincts from the start.  
  


“Can I kiss you?” Shiro asks quietly, giving voice to the desire he’s been holding back for so long.  
  


Too long, he thinks as Keith looks up with wide, hopeful eyes. Lets out a small chuckle and says, “Of course you can. You never have to ask that.”  
  


\--  
  


By his best guess, it’s been roughly 18 months since he’s last kissed Shiro. Give or take a week. Time is hard to keep track of when you’re in space, jump through worm holes, and travel to alien planets with different day spans.   
  


Regardless, the point stands that the year and many months that have passed have felt like several lifetimes. All of them without Shiro's warm touch and loving kisses. And the less than 10 seconds it takes for Shiro to close his eyes and lean to kiss him after he says yes? It feels like an eternity.  
  


The first touch of Shiro’s lips against his, so hesitant and sweet, makes his heart stutter. Heat flares in his chest, pulsing with every heart beat until he feels like he’s birthing a sun inside himself. A warm breath of air falls over his cheek, followed by another kiss that is more pressing and deliberately. It also makes the chains of his self control snap.  
  


Keith's hands slide up Shiro’s chest, moving restlessly over him as they relearn familiar territory. Shiro's frame is broader than it was before. Keith squeezes the other teen's arms, shoulders, hips, and thinks he doesn't want to wait any longer. He's waited long enough. He's going to make good on Shiro's promise from before.  
  


"Shiro..." Keith moans, "Can we... I don't want to wait anymore."  
  


His knees almost give out when Shiro nods, hands going down to pull on Keith's shirt. His own body pushes Shiro back, one step, two step, and three. He follows Shiro down on the bed, continuing to push him back until Shiro’s got his back against the wall. And then he settles into Shiro’s lap. After he's pulled his shirt off however.  
  


And they haven’t stopped kissing during the whole move. Shiro laughs against his chin when he falls back, kisses Keith's neck and collarbone as soon as they're revealed. They're distracting touches that make Keith's hands tremble as he works to get Shiro's jacket and shirt off as well.  _'It's been too long too long too long,'_ his brain chants desperately, making his hands move with rising franticness.   
  


Zarkon could walk through the door and announce the end of the world and Keith wouldn’t stop kissing Shiro even then.The moan Shiro lets out feels like an agreement to that sentiment. An answering moan trips out of his mouth when Shiro’s hands land on his ass and squeeze. Keith yanks Shiro's shirt off and throws it back, shifting forward so that their hips are aligned and relaxes down.  
  


‘ _Muscle memory_ ,’ Keith thinks distantly to himself as Shiro’s hands find all the right places to touch in all the right ways. His left shoulder blade. Ribs. Wrists. His own hands find all the places that made Shiro tremble and sigh underneath him. The sharp lines dipping under his pants. Abs. Pecs. Collarbones. And his hands also seek out previously uncharted territory, which includes the growing hardness in between Shiro’s legs.  
  


There’s no hesitation this time. Only desperation and desire as they fumble over each others hands to get their pants unbuckled and unzipped. They laugh in between messy kisses as their fingers stumble over each other. And then neither of them is laughing anymore once they pull their straining lengths out. Keith feels like he could _cry_  at the sensation of Shiro’s cool hand on his dick because finally... _finally_! He's got his left hand around Keith, right hand holding him in place. Panting, he looks down at the sight of Shiro's hand tugging him to full length and exhales a shaky sigh.   
  


Shiro’s shivering against him, face pressed against Keith’s neck as he busily sucks hickies into the unmarked skin. Shit. He hopes he can cover them up with his jacket.  
  


"Could you..." Shiro breathes out against his ear, sending a bolt of heat through his body. "Move your hand, Keith."  
  


With a nod, Keith obeys and gives Shiro's length an experimental squeeze. He's big. A cool shiver runs down his spine as he imagines taking Shiro inside himself. Keith bites his tongue to stop the whimper at bay because that... might have been too much to imagine. The other teen shivers and curses under his breath.   
  


It’s embarrassing to admit but Keith barely lasts more than a couple of minutes. He's in the present and the future at the same time, learning and memorizing the size and feel of Shiro in his hand and thinking about how he's going to feel inside him. Keith's focused on holding down so many embarrassing noises as Shiro jerks him off. But them he feels Shiro's other hand slide down his spine. Pinky hooking into the elastic of his underwear, making just enough room for his fingers to slip in. Keith lets out a choked whine at the sensation of careful fingers pressing against him.  
  


"Keith..."   
  


And that's what really does it. The way Shiro's voice cracks on his name, filled with pleasure and heat. Keith sinks his teeth into Shiro's shoulder, moaning into the sweaty skin as his hips fuck up into Shiro's fist. Continue to move well after he's come and over sensitivity becomes an issue.   
  


"Easy, easy," Shiro is saying softly, right hand back up between Keith's shoulder blades. "I got you, buddy."  
  


Keith shivers as he pulls back, eyeing the deep mark he's left on Shiro's skin. He hopes it'll bruise beautifully. It probably will. Shiro's skin bruises easily and well. Keith can't wait to leave more marks on his skin and receive twice as many more.  
  


He swallows thickly, peeks up at Shiro's flushed, happy face and smirks. Shiro's eyes narrow in suspicion immediately and fly wide open when Keith pushes his knees apart.   
  


"You don't have to!" Keith rolls his eyes and shoots Shiro a glare because he knows that. But he  _wants_ to do that. Shiro freezes a moment before understanding and tilting his head in a question. Keith nodes, reassuring the other teen that yes, he wants to do this.  
  


Almost immediately all resistance from Shiro's side melts away. He spreads his legs on his own, thighs trembling under Keith's hands. Trepidation and hunger fill him in equal parts as he sees Shiro's slick cock. Lungs burning, Keith opens his mouth and licks up the long length of it. He has to put his hands on Shiro's hips to keep him from jerking his hips up. Somewhere overhead Shiro curses quietly followed by a trembling version of his name.  
  


Keith repeats the licking motion before latching onto the tip, running this tongue over the slit to taste Shiro. It's salty and bitter. Keith knows he can learn to love this flavor. There's very little about Shiro he doesn't love. A broad palm comes to rest at the back of his neck, heavy but comfortable. It's his cue to sink deeper onto the thick cock and move back up.   
  


Which is when he decides to peek up and see how Shiro's doing.  
  


The answer is this: Shiro looks  _wrecked_. His white fringe is sticking to his forehead, framing the expression on his face. It's hunger, desperation, lust, love, all combined together in a way that makes Keith's softening dick twitch with renewed interest.  
  


Suddenly the hand on the back of his neck is pulling him away. His mouth disconnects from Shiro's dick with a pop but he doesn't manage to move away fast enough because a splash of hot cum hits his cheek and another the underside of his jaw. Keith's tongue immediately comes out to taste, feeling a little smug about the fact that he made Shiro come this fast. (It soothes his pride as well).  
  


He catches the rest of the cum with his fingers and thumb, rubbing the digits together to check its consistency before lapping up the thin threads hanging heavy between his fingers. The groan Shiro lets out has Keith blinking and looking up in surprise. Shiro's trying to hide his red cheeks behind a hand, peeking through his fingers to ask, "Do you have to do that?"  
  


Tilting his head, Keith is about to ask what when he realizes Shiro means the licking part. So he smirks and cleans his fingers up as lazily as he can, enjoying the sight of Shiro's flushed face. The smirk turns into a laugh when Shiro pulls him up, kissing him fiercely as he murmurs, "You're too good at this."  
  


He's certainly sporting a dumb grin as he mumbles back, "I've got a partner who inspires me to do my best. Focus, determination, patience, and all that jazz."   
  


Shiro playfully rolls his eyes and squeezes Keith's hips in teasing reprimand. Keith unrepentantly grins back, intent on stealing more kisses because he's got so many months to make up for. They exchange lazy, long presses of their lips over and over again until Keith feels dizzy (a combination of too much happiness and not enough oxygen going to his lungs).  
  


“I feel like I should apologize for that,” Shiro drawls, sounding almost like his old self. “I swear I can last longer than usually.”  
  


“Usually?” Keith asks curiously, peeking up at Shiro. Who is smiling up at the ceiling. With a hum and pink ears, Shiro nods and squeezes Keith’s shoulders. The sun in his chest flares. Wisps of heat curl through his blood and heat up his skin. Keith presses his fingertips against Shiro’s skin and concentrates on passing some of his happiness on through the touch. And its during that journey that his fingers catch on his own cum sticking to Shiro's abs.  
  


"We should shower." Keith points out, not wanting to leave the comfort and security of the taller teen's embrace but know they'll have to. He shoots Shiro a look, an invitation that implies they could clean up together. It's probably too soon to hope that Shiro understands the different looks and glances Keith used to rely on to get so many things across. But he tries anyways.  
  


A mixture of relief and happiness fill him when Shiro gently nips on his ear and asks, "Together right?"  
  


Keith's answer is to pull back, hands sliding down muscled arms and stopping to curl around thick wrists. He smiles as he straightens up, taking Shiro along with him. Keith sends quiet thanks to whoever designed the paladin quarters to have en-suite bathrooms and quickly forgets about it when Shiro backs him up against the tiles to kiss him again.   
  


It's a lot less frantic this time and a lot more tender. Shiro's hands move carefully over Keith's body, eyes following the tracks his fingers make as he runs the lathered up wash cloth over lean muscle. His hand lingers on the bruise on his side, making Keith move to reassure him that it's nothing serious. It was just a slip-up in his concentration that led to the bruise. Shiro doesn't say anything but his hands go back to cleaning Keith up.  
  


"You've put some muscle on."  
  


The quiet pride and admiration in Shiro's tone makes Keith flush and stand taller at the same time. The flush deepens when the rag slides forward and goes straight between his legs. Keith had forgotten that once he relaxed, Shiro was a bit of a pervert. He tips his head back, laughs against Shiro's jawline, and breathlessly says so. Shiro chooses to reply back with a pout (which makes Keith laugh harder) and gently squeezing Keith's hard on (which turns Keith's laughter into moans).  
  


A quick wash turns into a long shower because when Shiro whisper-asks, "Close your thighs for me?" It turns into a second round of sex. Keith thinks he'd love to try thigh fucking again in bed. Then he wouldn't have to worry about his knees giving out in the end after he's come. Good thing Shiro's arms had been holding him upright or else Keith would have just crumpled to the floor a shaky, trembling mess.   
  


How they get from the shower back to bed is a blur for Keith but because it's not an important detail, he shrugs it off. It's of higher concern that Shiro gets into bed with him. Keith shifts so that his back is against the wall and Shiro in front of him, throwing an arm and a leg over the other boy to hold him in place. Shiro's murmuring something about doing the laundry tomorrow before yawning hard enough to make his jaw crack. Keith can’t stop himself from smiling fondly. He can't believe he’s missed even _that_  squick worthy habit.  
  


"Takashi..."  
  


“What?” Shiro asks sleepily, leg sliding in between Keith's thighs.  
  


With a smile, Keith shifts closer until their noses are touching and sighs, “I missed you.”  
  


\--  
  


They’re three simple words but they’re stated in such a gentle, matter-of-fact way that it makes Shiro’s heart ache. God... how had Keith managed to keep his feelings under wrap for so long? Shiro can’t even begin to fathom how hard that must have been. How can he even begin to make this up to Keith?  
  


He immediately apologizes for unwittingly hurting Keith and for taking so long. Keith sleepily mumbles something unintelligible back. Rubs his cheek against Shiro’s shoulder and exhales quietly.  
  


"You remember now. That's more important. Can't blame you for something you couldn't control"   
  


Shiro presses a kiss to Keith's forehead and wonders how he got so lucky to have someone like Keith in his life. Additionally he ponders how he can thank Pidge for giving him the nudge he needed. Then again, Shiro supposes, its Keith he  _really_ should be thanking for misplacing those pictures. Speaking of them, where had Keith put them again?   
  


"Hey, Keith?" He gets a sleepy grunt in reply, "Where'd you put the pictures?"  
  


"'nder m' pillow."  
  


Ah. Shiro digs carefully underneath the soft material and pulls the two pictures out. He stares at the two, wondering which one to keep. The cheek kiss is cute but he kind of prefers the other one. There's something about it that just appeals more to him.  
  


"The kiss one 's yours." Keith's murmured reply makes him look down. Half his face is buried in the pillow as he raises a hand up to tap the picture he's talking about. His eyes are open just a sliver and filled with sleepy love as he repeats, "Y' kept the kiss one... in y'r locker."  
  


Shiro looks back at the picture and smiles faintly.  _'I guess there's no changing preferences even if you lose your memories.'_  
  


Slipping the pictures back underneath the pillow, Shiro curls his arm back around Keith and murmurs, "Thanks for keeping it safe."  
  


Keith smiles, reaching back to take hold of Shiro's hand and links their fingers together. And brings their joined hands up against his chest before closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. Shiro observes this process and a memory comes to mind of the young Keith saying he couldn't go to sleep unless he was holding Shiro's hand against himself. Something settles deep inside of him, causing a peaceful feeling to radiate through him. It feels like a home coming.  
  


Settling down in a more comfortable repose, Shiro lies there and watches Keith fall asleep. It takes less than a minute before Keith is out like a light. Shiro huffs out an amused laugh letting his eyes wander. The Keith before him isn't all that physically different from the Keith he remembers. But emotionally he seems a lot more closed off than the Keith in his memories. Shiro wonders how Keith made it through that year alone. If he had anyone to depend on.  
  


Shifting closer, Shiro tells himself not to worry about those things right now. They'll sort things out, slowly, gradually, and most importantly, together. Keith's fingers twitch when Shiro takes his hand back and drapes the limb over Keith's body. It finally feels like the last piece of the puzzle has clicked into place. The odd emptiness, the sense that he was missing something important? It finally floats away like the remnants of a bad dream.  
  


“I missed you too Keith,” he murmurs back, pressing a kiss into the dark hair before him before closing his eyes. Shiro gets a sleepy mumble back in reply and it makes him smile because his first name has never sounded so sweet as it did just now coming from Keith’s lips. The words that follow make him shake with silent laughter because he'd forgotten Keith's tendency to talk in his sleep. What even did Keith mean, don't use the goop to fuel Red?   
  


Shaking his head, Shiro takes a moment to be amazed how he's managed to fall in love with Keith twice over. _'The heart wants what the heart wants,'_ a voice that sounds remarkably like his father tells him. Shiro thinks, yeah. That's probably it. As he closes his eyes, Shiro reminds himself that he should apologize to Keith again after they wake up. For the time lost and heart attack caused. After that, they’ll have a longer, proper talk and Shiro will share all the memories he remembers and ask Keith to share more. Because there's still so many gaps in his memory and Shiro wants to fill them all. He doesn't want to forget the smallest moment he's had with Keith.  
  
  
  


And once they're done with that? Or maybe even along the way, they’ll get started on making _new_  memories together.  
  


Yeah. That sounds like a good plan.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Holler @ me on twitter(@trustissuesinc) or [tumblr](missmeeya.tumblr.com) about your sheith headcanons bro


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